Grappling with Reality

June 19, 2006
(“Grappling with Reality”)

Again, I sit here at the coffee shop, frustrated with life, wondering when it became so difficult to be happy. All I want to do is write. But who can point to the gateway to that dream? It seems so far from where I am. I suppose I could pursue it more passionately. But I have before and never got very far.

And then I just get pissed off because I started out in college as an English major for this specific purpose. I was going to be a writer. But somewhere along the line I fell off course. Now I’m a business major at a school I never wanted to end up at, with no way of changing educational courses.

I was watching this tattoo TV show and this guy, the tattoo artist, was talking about all the people he tattooed and all the experiences he’s had as a tattoo artist. And the thought struck me, “Man, this guy loves what he does. This guy is sold out to life. He gets up every day and gets paid to do what he loves.”

How do I get there? How do I get up every day and get paid to do what I love to do?

I’m just a girl, chasing a dream.