This evening I picked up an old copy of The Sun magazine that was sitting on my coffee table. I had special ordered a couple of back issues so I could research the magazine before submitting my work. After receiving the copies, I placed them on the coffee table and proceeded to write an article that I was sure would be published as soon as it hit the editor’s desk. Months later I received the inevitable “thanks but no thanks” letter from The Sun and tacked it up on my “ode to rejection” wall with all the others. I read my inspirational quote before walking away, “A professional writer is simply an amateur who didn’t quit.” I didn’t even consider at the time why it hadn’t been published. “I’m an amateur. It figures.” was all I thought.
A year later I find myself enamored, flipping through page after page of the May 2007 (yes, 2007) copy of The Sun magazine. It is full of brilliant, thoughtful, witty narratives, short stories and prose. I can’t even remember what piece of work I had submitted over a year ago, but I realize now exactly why it hadn’t been published. I am sure it was definitely a piece of work. How embarrassing. Maybe I should have done far more with those back issues than place them on my coffee table. Whatever piece I submitted must have been a monumental waste of the editor’s time. I feel like writing a letter to the editor apologizing for submitting such a royal piece. Then again, making them read an apology letter would just waste more of their time. Maybe that’s not such a great idea.
It got me thinking though. How often I run after grand ideas, skipping, tumbling, floundering right over the details and then doing nothing more than tacking my rejection letter to the wall and walking away. Chalk it up to an amateur move. My life has become a sequence of amateur moves. It’s a damn good thing I gave up chess years ago. But if my inspirational quote is true, then I will be a professional in no time. Well, except that I naturally quit everything. I set up these lofty goals and try real hard, the first time. Then, once more, chalk it up to an amateur move and walk away.
At one point, I wanted to be published so badly that I figured I would start with the smallest venue possible; the local paper. The Daily Breeze newspaper has a “My Turn” column that publishes local work (one might call amateur work). Not only do they publish the work but they actually pay writers $25, which to this amateur is like a small fortune. So my bright idea was to write and submit piece after piece after piece until something finally got published. I sent out one piece for publication and have yet to receive a response. Care to guess how many additional pieces I’ve written and submitted? You guessed it. Zero. You see, I am a natural quitter at heart. It is one thing I never give up on. Maybe I can become a professional quitter.
When I Googled “professional quitter” the first result was a YouTube video of Mike Johanns, who apparently quits every office he has held. Sucks for agriculture in Nebraska. Who can blame the guy for quitting one thing to jump into something bigger and better? Don’t we all want what’s bigger and better? Maybe not. Every other search result for “professional quitter” was linked to anti-smoking campaigns and programs. It is a shame I am not addicted to nicotine. So much for the professional quitter idea.
Some day, my friend, I will find a way to turn all this quitting into something big. Yes, something great. Maybe I can write the first “Quitting for Dummies” book. I Googled that just to make sure that book has not already been written. Again, all the search results were nicotine related. Whew! Close call. I almost had to quit on that idea, too.
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