Finding my niche... Episode two

Let's be honest, confrontation has never been my strong suit. But lately, I've begun to delve deep into the confrontational facet of my personal relationships. My roommate and best friend is much like myself in the sense that we are primarily private people with too much pride and ego to call anyone on anything even remotely negative for fear that we, in return, may be called out as well. At first, this seemed to play to our advantage as roommates and created an extremely non-confrontational, peaceful environment. Over the years, however, the lack of communication that has resulted actually built up tension and planted seeds of question in both our minds over where we really stood in light of the other.

A lost cause? The possibility entered my mind but with a little uncomfortable effort, I managed to discard such a thought. For some unknown reason, we began to speak truth into each others lives and though awkward as it was momentarily, it turns out that this humble confrontational spirit actually builds friendship and trust. Calling for a little compromise here and added effort there, things get better at home every day.

That all sounds very "sit-com", you know… the world's problems solved in thirty minutes flat with a big smiling happy ending. But it's a far cry from easy. Have you ever found yourself so high up the ladder of pride that it was embarrassing to ask for help down, but there was no other way? I practically fell off the highest rung of the ladder because, though I noticed out of the blue just how high up I had climbed, I still wouldn't ask anyone to help me down.

Though this might be the world's most negative self-talk, I've got to admit, I feel like a complete loser. For years I've lived with the same person and maybe, maybe twice I've vacuumed the floors. I've lived in our current apartment for almost a year and I've honestly never cleaned the bathroom floors, not even once. The shower? The toilets? All I do is use them, never held a cleaning product even close to them. My boyfriend stays the weekend and I let my roommate clean up after him. Granted it's her brother (which is comical in and of itself) but really, I honestly feel it's my responsibility, which I ungratefully pass on to her every time.

At the end of the day, where do I stand? I've promised to do more, to do my share… and I still fail horribly. I took the trash out once since then and still haven't vacuumed. A tragic pitfall of my own selfishness and laziness, laid bare for all to see.