I had never kayaked before. I had never flown before. I had never been to the Oregon coast before. I decided to do it all in one weekend. Turns out, it was all amazing.
I watched the sun come up from inside the LAX terminal, wondering what exactly I had gotten myself into. I boarded my flight and watched life as I knew it shrink down into a miniature existence and then vanish. It was all I could do but listen to the shallowed air flow steadily in and out of my lungs, concentrated and slow, mostly in effort not to panic and demand we turn back.
It is amazing how emotion can take over the human brain and memories become a total blur. Somewhere between boarding that plane and reaching my destination, I landed and re-boarded and rechecked and landed again. It was a whirlwind.
I hit the ground running in a town where geese on the runway hold up flights and I get into a stranger’s car (sorry mom). We met up with about six other strangers, loaded up our kayaks and hit the lake. It was a gorgeous day, perfect weather and calm waters winding around the hills.
As we spread out across the lake I could still hear a couple guys behind me having a conversation… about me.
“So how do you think she likes it so far?”
“I think she’s having fun… but I don’t know, she might be too much of a city girl.”
I chime in, “Hey I can hear you!”
They are a funny bunch here, I thought to myself as I smiled and drifted with the current.
It was a long flight home at the end of that weekend. Change was coming quickly and I had a decision to make. Do I stay? Do I go? Do I refuse to budge, hold tightly to what I know and risk drowning under the rapid currents of change? Do I have what it takes to embrace this moment and move forward towards something new?
As I landed back home in LAX, I felt strangely out of place, realizing that I had one foot in and one foot out. Eventually I put both feet out in front of me, picked up my packed bags and drove away.
Now I’m in this sleepy little town without a trace of anything I had before. I can’t be picky anymore about which Target to go to, there is only one to choose from and it’s an all day affair to shop there, driving down the winding, one lane mountain road for an hour each way.
I haven’t washed my car since moving here almost three months ago because there doesn’t seem to be a full service car wash within thirty minutes of my home. I suppose they expect me to do it myself. And you can forget jogging alone at night. I used to love a late night jog along the Manhattan Beach strand in California. Somehow the dark, tree lined streets of Oregon aren’t as conducive to my single lifestyle.
One thing I have yet to abandon though are my sandals. Rain, hail, wind and the occasional snow flurry have yet to deter my toes from hiding. They are brave warriors. Quite possibly the biggest adjustment has been that everything closes early. As a matter of fact, the coffee shop I am sitting in right now will close at 5pm today. Life is definitely different here.
I can’t say where exactly I will go from here. I have stepped into a whole new era of my life and am taking it all in. It’s a breath of fresh air, literally. My eyes are opened to so much more than before and though my heart is held in the grasp of California, my journey is taking me elsewhere for the time being. And I’m loving it.
No comments:
Post a Comment